I first got to know her through her book “THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD”. That was many years ago when I was still in primary school. The book captivated me I just loved it even though some of the words were too big for me considering my age and level of education then, yet it didn’t deter me,. I was just a kid deliving joyfully into the world of books, writing and literature and falling in love with it thanks to writers like Buchi and her inspiring works..
Her book opened another aspect of women’s world to me and helped me see the relationship between women and the society they live in.
Permit me to ask the society these sensitive questions.
Why do the society accuse women of being the cause of childlessness in a marriage?
Why do the society accuse women of being responsible for the sex of the children born in a family. Why do the extended family conspire to send a woman back to her father’s house if she continues to bear female children or marry a new wife for the husband.
Now come to think of it removing medical science and the knowledge that men are actually responsible for the sex of a child not women. Why should the society conjure it up in their mind at the first instance that it must be the woman? Couldn’t they have said it’s from both parties instead of singling out the woman.
Why is a girl’s education seen as a waste of resources. I can still recall when my sisters where still in school to some people why should they be trained further. Not a good one at all. If she gets married and takes all her wealth and assets to her husband’s family is anything wrong in that. What about the girl’s mother if she had been educated and came into her new family with all her learning and assets wouldn’t that family be happy. Talk about hypocrisy, this is a good example.
Buchi through her novels promoted women and sought to tell the world what some women go through because of harmful societal beliefs and traditions. She clearly sought to bring to light the struggles women go through.
She was promoting the women course through her books and I admire her for that. She herself was a victim of some of the things she wrote about. Born 21st July 1994. She was denied education simply because she was a girl. What didshe do? Did she give up? No she didn’t. She kept up on crying and begging till she was allowed to go to school. And to you my dear This is the same thing that you should do when you experience such things in life do not give up. Keep fighting for your dreams.
Eventually Buchi got a scholarship to study in Methodist Girls school in Lagos. From there she was married to a man she has been engaged to since age 16. Engagement at 16 years of age. Maybe you should consider yourself lucky to live in an age where you can now fall in love with a man and marry him. Such wasn’t for people like Buchi she marries whom the family chooses for her.
She later moved to Britain with her husband and she lived there all her life. Her marriage wasn’t rosy and she was subjected to abuses by her husband. She also experienced lack of support for her writing from her husband who burnt some of her manuscript and she had to rewrite it again. Talk about determination, mention Buchi. At age 22 she left her husband as she couldn’t cope anymore.
Sheer determination and self belief pushed her through this period as she was able to train herself in school and also take care of her five children. All as a single mother in a foreign country where she was experiencing racism and discrimination. Tough lady you could say. You too, Be strong, you can weather this storm.
Buchi went on to write many books more than twenty of them and received many awards and recognisition. Novels include
In the Ditch(1972)
The Bride Price(1976)
The Slave Girl(1977); winner of 1978 Jock Campbell Award
The Joys of Motherhood(1979)
The Moonlight Bride(1981)
Our Own Freedom(photographs by Maggie Murray) (1981)
and many more including short stories, plays and articles
On January 25th 2017 She died in her sleep. Rest in peace dear winning woman. You will forever remain in our hearts.
If you are woman wherever you are in the world be strong. Don’t give up because of the negative feedback that follows your every success. Get an education if you haven’t. Promote women in whatever way you can, Buchi did hers through her writings. Fight against human trafficking, Nigeria is among the top countries where girls are trafficked, Edo state the worst hit.
Be strong, you are a winning woman and winning women always win. I love you.
Wednesday for all Winning Women (WWW)