Insurance clerk: “Where were you born, Sir?” Man: “In the United States.” Insurance clerk: “OK, and which part?” Man: “My entire body.”
What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? – “Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?”
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?” Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!” Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?” Patrick, “What school?”
Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space? – To avoid scenarios like: “Houston, we have a problem!” – “What is the problem?” – “Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!”
What would you call a person who had no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.